Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Kids: much smaller than I remembered.

I wish all my food looked like foliage.

When I was in Berlin back in April, my friend and I spent a couple of hours sitting on a bench opposite a park full of children. Not in a paedophile way, just a coincidence. Anyway, one thing we were really, really taken aback by was quite how small they are.

Sounds logical, I know, but they really are very very small. We had a giggling fit over it (although that may also have something to do with the fact that one of them had a poo under a tree and tried to cover it up with bark a bit like a cat).

Anyway, I'd forgotten about the size of kids, not unsurprisingly as I normally see only students and real adults in my day to day life. However, ever since my aforementioned worthy procrastination led me into my Primary School Teacher Mum's habitat to use my A-Level art skills to create props for the school play, I haven't been able to stop thinking about how small kids are. Again, in a disbelieving curious way, rather than a paedophile way.

Saying that, there is evidence to suggest that my head is smaller than that of a child's. I know this because in an attempt to create a piece of head-gear that would turn a child into a bear, my mum shoved the ankle-end of an age 11 velour brown legging on my head.

(This is something I've got used to after living with a PSTM for a while. The other day I had to put on one of my old bras - which had been stuffed - backwards, to ascertain whether it would be suitable for a 10 year old in drag.)

I got kind of used to the legging. It was quite cosy. I can see why bank robbers etc don't mind putting hosiery over their heads, and the swishing about of the rest of the leg made me feel like a real girl with proper hair.

Anyway, despite its many merits, the legging had to be tried on bear-children. It didn't fit. Now, either the kids have freakishly large heads for their tiny bodies, or I've just got a small head. Didn't really want to investigate either situation - all sounds a bit Victorian-Racist to me.

In other news: look at that mushroom. Isn't that the prettiest mushroom you've ever seen? I cooked it today, but only after stroking it for a little while.

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